do you love what you do? if you don't, do you have a good reason for doing it - a reason not solely based on yourself, on your own needs?

i live selfishly. i know this. even in my acts of kindness, it comes out of a selfish place. or perhaps i'm confused about the chicken and the egg. maybe in my acts of kindness, it does indeed come out of a selfless corner in my heart, but the gratification of making someone else happy rubs upon that selfish "pat yourself on the back now" feeling i'm only too familiar with.

and all i do is talk about myself. why? there's no need.

yesterday, a character caught my attention. there are so few people who make the cuts. i count three, with only one making the final round. but my focus should reshift... i'm not of the same species. i need to learn to blend better; i need to learn to be of my own breed again. it's for my own good.

or so i think.

i just need a family. that would solve all problems.

holy cowballs what great wonders of fun =)